Guidelines for Butt-Pinching Gentlemen in Skirts

Something about a man in a skirt makes some women want to, well, pinch butt. In the hopes that this activity adds to instead of detracting from anyone's dancing pleasure, Queen City Contra Dancers offers these guidelines as a public service to the dance community at large. We gratefully thank Debra Ann Boyer for allowing us to add this to our homepage.

2 September 1996

Apparently, there has been confusion and offense taken regarding my comments on "butt-pinching" men in skirts as well as the status of their undergarments (or lack thereof). Therefore, I am proposing the following guidelines:

Guidelines for Butt-Pinching Gentlemen in Skirts

1. The practice of butt-pinching is reserved for close friends, that is, consenting adults. Participation in skinny-dipping, sauna parties, coed showers and nude cocktail parties may, in some cases, substitute for close friendship. When in doubt, ask the intended pinchee. (See
#2.)

2. When in doubt about intended's consent to be pinched, it is appropriate to ask "May I pinch your butt?" (See "Guidelines for Date Rape Prevention.")

3. Butt-pinches, by their very nature, serve the purpose of a greeting and/or surprise. They are performed with an air of playfulness, never as a prelude to any lascivious activity. They can be given both on and off the dance floor.

4. A butt pinch bestowed on a dancer in another line can add to the mystery of the dance. However, great care must be taken to maintain the rhythm and continuity of the dance.

5. By administering a butt-pinch, the pincher is, in turn, giving
permission to be a pinchee.

6. Butt pinches must never result in injury, intended or otherwise.
Women (and, in some cases, men) with long nails should use restraint and
observe "safe butt-pinching" practices.

Guidelines for Undergarments of Men Wearing Skirts

1. It is noted that contra dancing has strong Celtic roots and that the traditional kilt worn by Scottish gentlemen featured no undergarments.
(See "Braveheart.")

2. It is never proper for a gentlewoman to ask a gentleman if he is wearing undergarments beneath his skirt. Nor is it proper to conduct
"hands-on" research to determine the existence of said undergarments.

3. A gentlewoman never discusses the inadvertent discovery of the
status of a gentleman's underthings.

4. While respect for male modesty must be maintained, a gentleman's admission--either verbally or by demonstration--that he is indeed wearing no undergarments gives the listener or observer permission to comment on the status of the aforementioned gentleman's former unmentionables.

But seriously, folks, strangers should never be fair game for butt-pinching. (I did refer to the ones whose butts I pinch as "dancing menfriends.") And it is the men who admit they are wearing no underwear. As I responded to another dancer "Your butt is safe until I know you better."

My dancing travels have shown me there are regional differences in dancing styles. Some are technically better, but I think you'll find we know how to cut loose and just have some wacky fun here in the Midwest. After all, Dave Letterman is an Indy native.

Speaking of regional differences. I find butt-pinching a lot more innocent than the increasingly popular, full-body contact, let me get my jollies, sleaze swing that I've encountered in the Southeast. Save that for late night sleaze dances where they belong.

Keep Dancing,

Debra Ann Boyer
Indy's Dance Gypsy

Last updated 5 January 2005